The Month of Mourning, The Month of Father

Every month has its message. It would seem that the message of the month of Av is suffering.

The most memorable date of this month is Tisha B'AV, the 9^th of Av, on which we fast and mourn the destruction of both our Holy Temples, destroyed on the very same day, although centuries apart. That in itself should give us pause, for it testifies that there is a Higher Power directing our history, and that which befalls us does not occur at random.

This time period has been filled with tragic events such as the Spanish Inquisition in 1492, when Jews were expelled from Spain, forcibly converted or burnt at the stake. Throughout the long saga of Jewish history, the month of Av – specifically Tisha B'Av, has always been marked by tragedy, including the start of WWI, which led to WWII and the Holocaust.

But in the midst of all this suffering, there is comfort, for the word "Av" means "Father". The full name of the month is "Menachem Av" which means "Comforting Father", teaching us that just as a father punishes his son, our Father chastises us, but even in the midst of this discipline, He forever remains Our Comforting Father.

(See Video Below:)

In the Book of Deuteronomy, 8:5, it is written "And ye shall know with your heart that, as a father chastises his son, so too does your Heavenly Father chastise you." It is not sufficient for us to "know" - understand this intellectually, but we must feel it with our hearts as well, for the mind and the heart are not always in consonance. You may understand something intellectually, but reject it emotionally, and vice versa, and therefore, heart and mind must combine and see the " heavenly guiding hand that directs our lives. There is a purpose to everything, even if that purpose escapes us".

As King David in Psalm 23 declared, "Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." At the end of the day, after all the calamities and personal suffering, Hashem is "Menachem Av", our Comforting Father. His "rod" and "staff" are signs of love. And this is the message of the month of Av. "That which is unfolding before our very eyes is from the Heavens above and is preparation for the coming of Messiah". We need to look past the physical suffering and understand the spiritual message. If we bear this in our hearts and minds, we will merit the coming of Messiah.

Consider – Is there any nation that after three thousand five hundred years still practices the same religion, studies the same Torah, speaks the same language and despite having been exiled, inhabits the same land? Consider – Is there any other nation that has cried for centuries for its destroyed Temples? We, the Jewish people, not only cry for our Temple, but for Jerusalem and the entire land of Israel. No matter where fate has propelled us, we have never forgotten the Temple or Jerusalem. In every prayer, we beseech G-d to give us the privilege of seeing it rebuilt. It is written that each generation that does not merit seeing the Beit Hamikdash – the Temple being rebuilt is considered responsible for destroying it."

How can we understand this? The second Temple was destroyed because of unwarranted hatred, animosity and controversy among our people, and if we have not merited seeing the Temple rebuilt, it is only because that sin of jealousy and unwarranted hatred continues to prevail among us. "Ask yourself", the Rebbetzin challenges, "Do you harbor animosity and hatred in your heart?" "Is there controversy in your family? The Temple is waiting to be rebuilt... It's all in our hands".

How can we cry for something we never knew?

How can we cry for something we never experienced?

How can we cry for something we've never seen or felt?

The Rebbetzin's guidance is golden: "If you do not know how to cry, cry because you do not know how to cry!" Think about it, and you will quickly realize that your spiritual impoverishment is the most compelling reason for tears.

To quote the Rebbetzin, "Torah study has the power to resolve all your problems, all your conflicts. Within the pages of the Torah, you will find an answer to all your challenges. Torah is an instruction manual for life. It would be difficult to believe that G-d, who created the universe and created us, would have allowed us to come into this world without guidance. Once you discover His instruction manual, your entire vision, your entire perspective, your entire approach to life will change. Open your heart and let G-d's Book speak to you. It's your heritage."

Imagine standing in a dark room and being told to go to the other end. The light gets turned on for a few seconds and you see the path clearly. You continue walking, with the clear image sketched in your mind. However, with time, the image gets blurred, you become confused and even lost. But along the way, you can light candles which will illuminate your path. These candles are Torah teachers, who, with their wisdom of Torah, can show you the way and prevent you from falling.

The Rebbetzin is a candle that gives light to others without losing the power of her flame. She can illuminate the dark path of life through the wisdom of Torah that she has preciously attained.

If you ever have a question, look at the first time that situation arises in the Torah and you will get your answer. I read this in one of the Rebbetzin's books and I thought, "Impossible, not every situation is in the Torah – the issues that we have today are different!" Of course, the Rebbetzin was right. I had a test last year which I hope I didn't fail. It was the hardest of tests, a test of faith. During that time period, I read her book "Life Is A Test" and listened to her words. I looked in the Torah for my situation and I found it with Moses, our rabbi, our teacher.

Nowadays, we are so desperate for answers – we read web sites filled with foolishness, follow the advice of psychologists, therapists and gurus, and forget that the source of all wisdom lies in the Torah. Paradoxically, Christianity and Islam accept the Torah as true! They all agree that it was given to the Jewish people at Mt. Sinai. The Torah's truth is uncontested. The only ones who question it are some of our own Jews......Yet another reason to cry in the month of Av.